Since the beginning of the Bum Steer Roast, we've had a tradition of having some witty entertainment, usually in the form of satirical poems or songs, lampooning the LMS software or the company that sells it. This year is no exception. Tonight, we're pleased to bring you a tribute to the Fab Four--the Beatles. In the fine tradition of making sure ALS gets "the point", the group calls itself the Needles!
Song 1: Back at NUGM
Yes, here we are again at NUGM. Although the band members are not exactly representative of the LMS user community, three out of four of them are at sites that have implemented 6.2 or 6.3. Most of their songs today will reflect that. Lennon & McCartney were masters at painting pictures with their lyrics. In Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da, they were able to create a simple, almost patoral scene, even in a hostile urban setting. The next song tries to create a peaceful, pastoral scene, even in a hostile NOTIS environment.
Song 2: 6.2! 6.3!
Sometime about 1964, Paul McCartney had a tune pop into his head. It seemed like a winning tune, but the words wouldn't come. All he could think to sing was "scrambled eggs". Later, the words to "Yesterday" seemed to fall together all at once. In the next song, Alan has found some new lyrics to fit that simple theme.
Song 3: Zawislak
Those who have installed 6.2 or 6.3 are in MISERY. They have to work EIGHT DAYS A WEEK, and might be called ANYTIME AT ALL. After several HARD DAY'S NIGHTs, the Tech1s are SO TIRED. I can tell you, they're not anxious to GET BACK to work. Every day is HELTER SKELTER. They spend their days FIXING A HOLE in the code--HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE. As a last resort, they call ALS but they get NO REPLY.
Song 4: We're Down
The documentation for the new releases came out almost at the same time as the code, but we don't want Documentation Services to feel left out, so the next song makes fun of them.
Song 5: Technical Writer
It just wouldn't do to let this occasion go by without mention of the recent personnel shake-up at ALS. Some of us were a bit disconcerted by the fact that nobody who was up on the platform at last year's Opening Session is with ALS anymore. And you can imagine how hard it is to write satire when the whole cast changes from year to year. Only the bugs remain the same.
Song 6: Rocky Raccoon, TECH1
Lots of us are now starting to look for our next generation systems. Some will stay with LMS for years to come, while others seem to be jumping ship each month. The client/server systems are pretty glitzy if you look only at the OPAC, but many of them have not yet reached full maturity (that's a euphemism for "they don't really work yet"). After years of dealing with ALS and NOTIS, we're a pretty wily bunch.
Song 7: Written All In C
With all the trauma that the new releases of LMS have caused us, it's still been rather nice getting a chance to talk to all of the Customer Support Services staff on a daily or sometimes hourly basis. We'd like to hope that after the next version this won't be necessary, but we still might miss it just a little bit.
Song 8: When We're 6.4
It's time to quit--probably past time. Thanks for listening to the Needles. We hope you enjoyed yourselves. The band will finish up with one more from the Fab Four, but we'd like to leave you with a different Beatles title, which has to be the motto of every NOTIS site in the world. We know we can get by WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Song 9: I Should Have Known Better (Than to Try 6.2)